That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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