if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
