i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
