I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize