I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
