Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize