talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
