Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize