Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
