when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
