just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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