Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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