Michael Bay diarrhea
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
