So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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