I wish I could teleport
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
