It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
