i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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