I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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