Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize