Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
