y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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