She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize