Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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