me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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