Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
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