I hate your face
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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