she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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