what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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