White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
