She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Ketchup is God's man juice
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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