none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think a kid would responsible me up
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
