Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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