it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
