Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
