i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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