I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
