doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
