I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize