Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
