Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
