There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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