I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I have fence marks all over my body
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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