dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
