NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
