we're blogging at a bar
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
