How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Randomize
