is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
