I think I just saw someone hide a body.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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