similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
