we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize