just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
birth control should be required to get into college
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
