He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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