We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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