Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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