Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
