Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
