The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
