Non-Jews are for practice
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
