I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
