finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
God, I missed his penis.
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