Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
