last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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